This is PART 11 in a 12 part series for the Year of Sagely Living project, entitled 12.12.12: A journey of self-discovery for a lopsided soul.
To learn more about the project 12.12.12, click here.
November was a challenge, top to bottomous, no exceptions, and courage was the quality I continued to cling to in hopes that oneness or love would persevere. The external world of economics, presidential elections, foreign policy, and the streamlines of public relations, human relationships cataclysmically ebbed and flowed into directions that seem all too avoidable. And I guess this all makes sense, if one were to believe in the Chinese calendar, considering that 2008 is the Year of the Rat and that the month of November was dedicated to the work behind the Pericardium. This was the homework from Deepest Health:
November - Pericardium, Xu 戌: Relationships: This category will involve practices that help us develop more mature and meaningful relationships with others. Why this pairing? Pericardium is frequently said to mediate intimate relationships. One interesting symbolic note is the association of the earthly branch Xu, which means - essentially - weapon. This speaks on many levels to me. For instance, we must be careful to avoid violence in relationships, on whatever level. Also, relationships are a bit like handling weapons — if you’re not careful and mindful, it can come back to bite you. Finally, the late fall and winter are good times for relationship-oriented activity, given that most of us desire to stay at home with family and friends as the weather cools.
At times during the month of November, I felt like we were all put through the sudsy, heavy-duty cycle and then hung out to dry in a windstorm fit for yellow-slickered sailors, who knew how to curse their makers. I, on the other hand, felt shell-shocked and in awe of “what just happened” as the newness of change reverberated every cell of my body. Kidneys, water element, deep sea creature working off some obscure vendetta, whatever you want to call it, my own internal map tossed itself blindly into the wild’s of the Wind…. And with all this said, my compass still spins, my head still spins with the “what-if’s” and “why’s that’s so” so much so that I find it hard to fit anything into words, forget about the paper. I became less of a seeker of information and more of a hermit satisfied by the simple nature of life’s prototypical patterns. Retreat became my point of focus and I narrowed my time spent on all projects, work and play alike, so that I could watch and absorb the change.
Despite the windstorms, I kept composure (well, most of the time), and I witnessed a tremendous growth spurt with several facets of dialogue, yet where to start becomes the question. So much transpired, yet the journey has left me bereft of words to relate Twainian tales of wrestling sea monsters to average folks on Main Street. Besides who, outside of my beloved bloggership, would believe me?
What I’ve learned: remember to apply ample love to the bumps and bruises. Compassion became my beacon early in life and it still shines heavily upon me today. If I had to pick out Compassion in a line-up, she’d beholden a hot pan of chocolate chip cookies, that’s for dang sure.
And if anything, not that any of you are seeking advice: take comfort knowing that you’re not alone in your growing pains. I am restructured, reborn, remembering the straightforward stuff that makes life wholesome. Who knows where I’d be without Eric Grey’s wit and subtle, wu-wei guidance throughout his own Sagely Living Project.
I’m not entirely sure about my own “products” for the project, but what I can say is that recording (or even just paying attention to) my experience, through the Sagely Living exercise, has truly kept me on my toes. Self-awareness is at an all-time high. The good, the bad, and the ugly fluctuated to new heights, and I have surrendered repeatedly. November taught me the poetic prose of recoil, reverberation, and a remembrance of what’s important. Poetry sifts to the top of the list for me, as it’s spindly form, its inherent lop-sided nature, it’s heavy handed slant towards metaphor strike a welcome resonance in my core. You could say that the 30-day sea-faring adventure taught me how to “bounce” in more ways than one… (you, the reader are encouraged to fit -any- life circumstance in between these lines and let the ink whisper what it will to you).
Stand on stage and bounce.
Yeah: bounce.
Seat of soul sink onto plywood platform
I want to see flat forms sway,
put the love
(or fear)
of god into your tunes,
dear muse,
pull threads so taught from your heart
that I can see the tension,
feel vibration of connection
pull me in…
BOUNCE!
Toe-tapping is a start
but far from ideal
steal me away to other worlds
where sweethearts still sing
where blue jays chime in
where sinners harmonize
realize the passion of present moment
a revelatory revival
the muting spark
where the world caves in
– tunnel vision–
my eyes to your strumming chords
that’s right:
bounce.
Feel form contact with shifting surfaces
movement
gliding rhythm
direction and pandemonium
push-pull along rubberbanded balance
Bounce!
Tether me to possibilities
seeds of spontaneous combustion
fizzle pop—bubble and bounce—
enjoy yourself in this interlude
this intermission
before time begins again.
Bounce!